Five thoughts I hope you find useful:
1: You are a good person, worthy of fulfillment
2: When not your master, fear is your truest servant
3: You are strong: embrace challenge and risk rejection
4: Fantasy is good–but not in place of reality
5: Trust your instincts. Serve your truth. Be yourself.
flickr image by lanier67
FJK commented: “I like these 5 Antidotes. I deal with fears real and unreal in many recovering alcholic/drug addicts and it’s always a negative. Could you give me a couple of examples where it would become ones servant?”
And here was my response:
Thanks for the feedback. I suppose the point I am trying to get at is that fear is in fact something internal to our minds/nervous systems and thus, like pain, is actually meant to serve us (so that we can avoid unpleasant experiences).
However, because we are wired to avoid short-term threats, our fear system sometimes does not act in our best interest e.g. if I let my fear of water dominate me I will never learn to swim.
So the best way to treat my fear system is as a highly paranoid servant, who may well be right some of the time but not all the time.
The reason I say truest servant is because by treating its alarms as a useful indicator I can quickly identify areas of self-actualization that my paranoid servant is trying to warn me away from e.g. a young man in a long-term relationship might be terrified at the prospect of marriage. In fact, his fear is a strong indicator that there is a deeper destiny awaiting him–if he has the courage to overcome his fear he might well find fulfillment as a father.
Another example: a shy person is unreasonably afraid of strangers. And yet, if they can open the door to new people they might find a new role for themselves in, say, public service.
Some people go out of their way to systematically conquer each and every fear they possess but that does seem extreme to me!